This often requires humorous deflecting. 'People invariably say, 'I hope you didn't wear a suit for me,'' says Mr. Guarini. He has two pat replies: 'You're worth it,' or, 'I had some other meetings today.'
In the aftermath of a layoff, style is critical. And it's about more than the decision to polish a wardrobe. The way people comport themselves after losing a job can make all the difference in what comes next. From how they convey the news to colleagues, to the type of clothes they wear and how they punctuate their emails, the newly jobless must use careful footwork to navigate the job hunt.
When in doubt, it's a safe bet to retreat to conservative styles. After Michael Bragg was downsized from his New York-based job at a high-end European fashion brand, he went out and bought a new pair of shoes -- lace-up, American-made Aldens. Play it straight with email, too. Sure, sometimes it's perfectly acceptable to shoot off a short, all lowercase missive to a colleague. But punctuation is a risk-free option. The same goes for social-networking. Now is not the time to post pics from a beer-sodden barbecue and share them with everyone in your network.
Many executives must learn to rein in their presumptuous, free-wheeling style. Amy Friedman, chief executive of Partners in Human Resources International, got an emergency call to help a recently fired senior marketing executive at a big media company. The laid-off executive had broadly bad-mouthed her former employer in what she saw as casual conversations. Three weeks later, with damaging gossip swirling, it was Ms. Friedman's job to form a recovery plan.
'We scripted it out,' Ms. Friedman says. They made a list of each person the executive had phoned, including what she told them, to the best of her memory. Then they rehearsed an apology, along the lines of: 'I was very reactive that day, but I'm on good terms with my former organization and I'd really like to enlist your support.'
There's no reason to agonize over telling people you're job hunting. One out of 10 workers is unemployed these days, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And most economic forecasts suggest that the employment situation will worsen before it improves. Jonscott Turco, a vice president with Partners in Human Resources, says most people have become so accustomed to layoffs that they assume it was a downsizing even if the person was fired for cause. It's best to choose words that are direct and clear without providing much detail: I'm no longer with my company and I'm looking for opportunities. 'People get into a jam when they start to give details,' Mr. Turco says.
Most people say they know to avoid the sort of bridge-burning tantrum thrown by the ad exec who was fired on the season premier of 'Mad Men' this week. Yet just type in 'I lost my job today' on YouTube. The site is chock-full of videos of stunned, suddenly jobless people putting their worst foot forward.
Digging at his ear and mumbling, Don Bell called his former company an obscene name in a video he posted the day he lost his job. 'I was really distraught,' says Mr. Bell, a truck driver in Gahanna, Ohio. He says his former employer hasn't seen the video.
After I spent time watching his and other just-fired videos one evening, my young son asked, 'Mom, why are you watching crazy people?' Of course, we'd all like to think we'd handle the bad news more sanely. But even people in the employment business can be caught off guard, proving just how important it can be to consider your 'fired style.'
An executive recruiter for hedge funds says that after he was fired earlier this year, 'The rest of the day I was on the phone with people telling them what happened and basically getting it off my chest.' The recruiter, who asked that his name not be used, says he didn't think of this as a networking move because the people were friends.
Many career counselors recommend taking several days or even weeks off after losing a job -- time to prepare mentally as well as to organize for a search. Joelyn Cecere, who heads the financial services practice at career consulting firm Drake, Beam, Morin Inc., likens this with recovering from a marital split.
'Sometimes when you go through a divorce, you think you're ready to date,' Ms. Cecere says. 'But often . . . it's obvious to everybody but the person that that person does not need to be out there dating.'
在去年迈克尔?加里尼(Michael Guarini)丢掉奥美(Ogilvy & Mather Worldwide)医疗子公司总裁的工作后，他开始穿得更加正式。加里尼先生表示，广告和公关公司奥美的着装要求是商务休闲装，但是如今，在参加社交活动时，他一般都会穿上职业正装，即便是与他很熟的人会面时也是如此。
这常常需要略带幽默感的委婉解释。加里尼先生表示，大家总是说，‘我希望你不是为我才穿得这么正式。’他恰好有两个回答来应付此类问题：“你值得我这么做”，或是，“我今天还要参加其它的会议”。
在失业之后，个人风格变得至关重要。而这并不只是完善衣柜的决定那么简单。人们失业之后的举止谈吐可能会决定未来的求职进展。从他们如何将消息告知同事，穿什么类型的衣服，到写电子邮件时如何断句，新进失业人员必须借助仔细谨慎的策略来驾驭求职的过程。
当你心有疑惑的时候，最安全的方法就是回归传统风格。迈克尔?布拉格(Michael Bragg)在一家高端欧洲时尚品牌驻纽约的职位被裁减后，他出去买了一双新鞋──系带的美国制Aldens。同时也在电子邮件中直言不讳。诚然，有时候给某个同事发去一封全是小写字母的简短信件完全可以接受。但是，标点符号是没有风险的选择。对于社交活动也是如此。现在可不是将你在烧烤野餐上喝醉的模样上传到网上，与自己网络里的所有人分享的时候。
许多管理人士必须学会控制自己专横、随心所欲的风格。Partners in Human Resources International的首席执行长艾米?弗里德曼(Amy Friedman)日前接到一个紧急电话，要她帮助某家大型媒体公司最近刚被解雇的高级市场主管。这位失业的管理人士在她所认为的非正式对话中对前雇主大放厥词。三周后，随着流言不断蔓延，其破坏性影响也开始显现，弗里德曼女士不得不为她制定一个名声修复计划。
弗里德曼女士表示，“我们为此写了个‘剧本’。”他们列出了这位管理人士所致电过的所有人的名单，包括她根据自己的记忆当时是如何和他们对话的。然后，他们排练了道歉提纲，大意是：“我那天非常情绪化，但是我和前雇主的关系良好，我真的希望获得你们的支持。”
没有理由为告诉他人你正在找工作而感到苦恼。根据美国劳工部(Bureau of Labor)的统计数字，如今十分之一的美国人处于失业状态。而大多数经济预测均显示，就业状况将会继续恶化一段时间才能有所改善。Partners in Human Resources的副总裁约翰斯科特?塔克(Jonscott Turco)表示，大多数人对失业已经见多不怪，以至于即便某人是因为过失被解雇的，他们也会认为是出于企业减员调整的缘故。最好是选择直接、清晰而无需提供过多细节的措辞：我已经离开以前的公司，目前正在寻找机会。塔克先生表示，一旦开始提供失业的具体细节，人们往往会陷入困境。
大多数人表示他们知道应该避免《广告狂人》(Mad Men)第三季里那位被解雇的广告管理人士的暴怒情绪。然而，你在YouTube上输入“我今天失业了” ('I lost my job today')看看。上面充斥着那些突然失业、备受打击的人们最糟糕的一面。
失业那天，唐?贝尔(Don Bell)上传了一个视频，他装作说悄悄话的样子，用一个猥亵的名字称呼他的前雇主。这位俄亥俄州Gahanna的卡车司机表示，“我当时真要发疯了。”他说他的前雇主没有看到这个视频。
某天傍晚，在我观看了他和其他新进失业人士的视频之后，我年幼的儿子问道，“妈妈，为什么你在看那些疯狂的家伙？”当然，我们都愿意认为我们会更加理性地对待坏消息。但是，即便那些身在就业服务行业的人们也会措手不及，这也证明了思考自己的“失业风格”可能会有多么重要。
一位负责对冲基金行业的猎头顾问表示，今年早些时候他被解雇了。当天余下的时间，他都在和别人通电话，讲述自己的遭遇，其实就是想把解雇这件事一吐而快。这位不愿透露姓名的猎头顾问表示，他并不认为这样做是社交的一部分，因为他通电话的那些人都是朋友。
许多职业顾问建议，一旦失业，不妨休息几天，甚至几周，花点时间在精神上做好准备，然后有条不紊地开始找工作。职业咨询公司Drake, Beam, Morin Inc.负责金融服务行业的负责人乔琳?西西亚(Joelyn Cecere)表示，这其实和从婚姻破裂的打击中恢复过来没有什么两样。
西西亚女士说，有时候在你经历离婚之后，你认为自己已经可以再次约会了。但是，常常是除了你自己之外的所有人都明白，你这时候根本不需要约会。
